I have very, very mixed feelings about New Year’s Eve. I think most resolutions are unrealistic loads of crap and I’m not sure why people feel the need to overhaul their life as the calendar turns a page. Self reflection and growth should be natural, and frequent, and, honestly, if you’re not doing that on a daily basis, January 1st isn’t going to make a difference. Also, I’m over over-priced nights out with college kids who can’t grow up. Actually, I was never into that. Just give me a bottle of Bordeaux and an old movie and I’m good.
BUT I still really love New Year’s Eve because it’s kind of when we started dating and it brings up so many great memories and well, your sort-of anniversary is special and if you want to have some champagne for it, go ahead! It also reminds us that each year has brought us challenges, yet we somehow managed to make each other’s years a little bit better in spite of everything.
Since 2008, there hasn’t been a single person I wanted to party with, or sneak into Times Square with, or be on a Caribbean vacation with, or spend a quiet night on the couch with while dog-sitting. My point is I like New Year’s Eve because I kind of like my husband and all the crazy memories we have from our years together.
I think about our first New Year’s together, before we were actually a legitimate couple and were just excited to meet up together at a crappy bar. I remember the two of us heading to a party after, and bailing last minute so we could just sit in my car and talk.
I think about the year we decided to see the ball drop in Times Square and walked up and down Broadway until some cool young cop let us in because we had a military ID. Never ever in a million years would I stand in the crowds for 18 hours to see a metal ball full of lights drop, but we swore to each other that as NYers (who might have ended up very far from NY with the military life) that we would see it one day. And we did.
There were years we spent with family, like when we indulged in mai-thais and way too much fancy Asian food at the restaurant where my parents shared their first date on the last night they were ever open. Three days later, we got engaged on a cruise ship in the middle of the Caribbean Sea.
I remember nights we tried to pretend that we were cool enough for dinner/beer pairings and open bars, only to need a ride home from my parents.
And I remember the cherished nights we did absolutely nothing instead and barely made it to midnight.
There were nights that we didn’t make it… and didn’t really care.
And there were years that were hard and years that we were happy to say goodbye to. Last year, we spent the night with my parents, finishing out a year (2015) with a lot of grief and sadness and entering the next year knowing that a lot would change.
We knew hubby would graduate, and find a job…and he did! We knew we would welcome a beautiful nephew into this world. We knew we would get to spend our summer traveling and seeing new places. We hoped it would be a happy year, but I promised myself going forward, was that I would stay present. I would take what I could learn from the lows, which come every year, and stay humble through the good moments and calm during the unexpected ones. Like finding out we are welcoming our own little love into this world next March.
More will change next year. We will meet our little boy, hopefully buy our own place, and see more of this country and this world. The best thing, though, is that we know each year after another that we’ll get to do it all together!
Now, on a much less sappy note…I spent hours looking through old pictures to find snapshots of each of our New Year’s Eves together and I CANNOT find anything from 2010. I guess we were extra boring that year!