First of all, thank you SO, SO, SO MUCH to everyone who came to my no games or stupid shit allowed baby shower to spoil me and our little boy. And to my mom, my sister, and my sister in law who humored me every step of the way to give me exactly what I wanted…and avoid everything I passionately didn’t want. I’m sorry I’m so difficult =)
Seriously, though, I feel very strongly about things (can you tell!) ESPECIALLY things I don’t like or don’t want. I know it’s my shower, but I didn’t want to be the center of attention. I hate being the center of attention. I didn’t want games, especially games that required people measuring how big I am or decorate a million onesies that he’ll outgrow before he wears them. I’m pretty sure my mom doesn’t want fabric markers on her white carpet either. And I didn’t want a lot of people. Just my family and a few close friends and I was good to go.
I wanted to eat delicious food (my mom ordered wraps, salads, cheese, and bruchetta platters), chat with my family, and actually relax. And wear slippers instead of shoes. And eat strawberry shortcake and vanilla cupcakes that my sister had to make homemade because she knows how much I hate store bough baked goods and processed sugar.
I also DON’T LIKE accumulating stuff. We’re minimalists, and our space reflects that. So obviously one of the things that initially gave me a ton of pregnancy anxiety was the idea of accumulating an excess useless baby shit. Loud, bright, plastic baby shit that doesn’t go with my thoughtfully designed and organized home.
Yes, I know, I’m growing a child and not a painting, BUT I want him to grow up in the type of environment that encourages the collection of memories, not things, and prevents him from becoming over concerned with the material world. So, when registering for our baby, we carefully selected things that are necessary, rather than convenient. Things that go with our space rather than take it over.
Look at all that stuff!!!!
Furniture: Because we do live in a small space, I picked out a mini-crib that will be useful for our baby until he’s about two, but doesn’t take up too much space with unnecessary, ornate decorations. I completely skipped a dresser and plan on re-purposing a vintage one I have in storage when our baby has his own room. I also registered for a wall mounted tree shaped bookshelf for when we actually buy a house, because having a space for books is important to all librarians.
Carseat/Stroller: I never understood why people register for a million little items, like clothes and toys, when you can use your registry for high ticket items like a car seat and stroller. We went with the Chicco Keyfit 30 for the safety ratings, compatible jogging stroller, an umbrella stroller, and front facing/toddler booster convertible seat that he’ll use when he’s older. I’d always rather have 2 or 3 big, useful gifts than a million toys he won’t play with.
Cloth Diapers, Disposables, and Wipes: I picked a cloth set because I’m dedicated to trying this and making it work (we went with GroVia), but am starting half time because I also want to be realistic. My mom also did a diaper raffle, and it was great because I really can’t think of anything more useful that extra diapers and wipes.
Space saver swing and jumparoo. I don’t want a lot of toys and gadgets, BUT I feel like the reality of life with a newborn is that we’re going to need a place to stick him other than his crib so I can at least shower every once in a while. These space savers fold and store out of sight; very OCD mom friendly.
Other crap he actually needs: Bottles (we did a glass set and two plastics from a brand I trust), Changing Pad (to go on his dresser), Burp Clothes & Swaddles (people actually rarely buy these for you), Baby Carriers (one wrap, one structured), Highchair (we went space-saver, obviously), Baby Monitor (without internet access b/c baby’s dad works in computer security), Breastfeeding Supplies (storage bags, leakage pads) and some non toxic Bath Supplies. FYI: most insurance companies give you the breast pump for free.
Even though we got SO MUCH STUFF, literally all of it fits into his little closet. ALL OF IT!! It’s a dream come true.
Things I didn’t register for…
Okay, my don’t want /don’t need list is a lot longer than my want/need list and I totally get that I really don’t know everything as a first time mom and could be wrong…but somehow people survived before the diaper genie was invented. Also, it really helps keep our space clean to not have so much excess.
Bassinet/Pack and Play. I might feel differently if our baby had a nursery, and we could use something else in our bedroom for the first few weeks/months. Our baby doesn’t have his own room. We don’t even have our own room. He’ll be fine in his crib.
Crib Bedding. You can’t put a baby to sleep with a blanket anyway so what is this for? Decorative purposes? Nothing is uglier to me than that a pile of blankets and sheets and a ruffly bed-skirt sitting on my floor because I can’t actually use them.
Toys. An infant needs what, like 3 rattles? I’m pretty sure we got plenty of toys without asking for them.
Boppy Pillow. I know people swear by these but, again, it’s more of a nuisance if I don’t have a place to keep another pillow. For feeding, by the way, you can use a standard pillow (like the one on your bed) to make yourself and baby more comfortable.
Baby Bath. Another thing I have no space for. The sink will do…just like it did for the last 600 generations. But it doesn’t have cute little frogs on it…hold on while I go throw up.
Diaper Genie. This is up there with the wipe warmer in terms of pointless shit that takes up space. The garbage will do just fine and I’ll take it out when it smells. Also, since when is wiping yourself with a warmed wipe necessary?
Baby Detergent. But don’t you need safe detergent so their clothes don’t irritate their skin? Well, I don’t use toxic detergent, but I’ve never actually seen a baby react when his face touches his mom’s clothes that are washed in different detergent than his own so why bother with the added expense before you need to?
Clothes. I’m pretty sure you get enough without registering for any.
I bought none of this!!
Lastly, I’m not trying to knock anyone who needs ALL THE THINGS for their baby… I just really don’t think I need ALL OF THOSE THINGS in a studio apartment! But, hey, I could be wrong.