My beautiful little boy is a whole month old.
I never thought about this before, but what happens if you’re born on the 31st of a month? When are you actually a whole month old? We’re going with the last day of each month because he shares a birthday with his uncle William and that’s when William “celebrates.” Well, that’s what my mother in law said she did when William (who is now 24) was under a year. Anyway…
My baby is a month old and I think I’m in denial. Like people always say, don’t blink and they grow up too fast and all that sappy crap that I used to just smile and nod at. But ITS SO TRUE.
Caelan definitely went through his first growth spurt, which btw was god awful and I think I prefer to skip the 6 week one, and he’s outgrowing his newborn clothes (how did he even fit them at all at 9.4?). He’s definitely longer and heavier and growing every day. But more than that, he’s a person now. Like with a personality. And it’s crazy.
He loves folk music and chewing on his hands and watching Baby Einstein. I swear he pays attention when it’s on. And when we read to him! It’s like I watch his brain develop every single day; it’s incredible.
He’s starting to make eye contact with us and he laughs and he tries to hold his pacifier and I SWEAR he tried to roll over. And this one time, Andrew tried to teach him the parts of his face and HE TOUCHED HIS FACE!!!
And now I’m that crazy mom who thinks her kid is awesome and a genius because obviously he is!
I find myself thinking about irrational things. Like what if he doesn’t make friends in school or what will happen when he finds out about Santa? What happens when he doesn’t need me anymore. I read this thing the other day that said the ultimate goal of being a mother is to render yourself obsolete. Shit, that one stung because it’s true. And I get it now.
But for now he needs me. He needs me all day, everyday. To feed him and burp him and force him to take baths even if he hates it. To sing Bob Dylan together and read Eric Carle. To talk to him and teach him and let him hold my hand. I know one day I’ll have to let it go, but for now, keep holding on tight, little boy.